Blind Eye
by therese xo
Summary: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In Bella's case, she's trying to cope with the fall out of her actions and of those around her. Rated M for description of violence and a little language .


This one-shot explores the very real, very serious gun issue that is prevalent all over the world, especially in the United States. It may be uncomfortable/triggering for some readers.

* * *

 **blind eye**

"Will you sit down? I made pancakes for breakfast."

I huffed and narrowed my eyes at my mother. She was sitting at the kitchen table with her hands wrapped around her favorite _Friends_ coffee mug and a raised eyebrow. I rolled the apple I had in my hand around and held onto the strap of my backpack with the other hand. "I want to get to school early so I can grab coffee with Alice."

Mom crossed her arms over her chest. "What's wrong with the coffee I made?"

"…It's not Starbucks?"

They just opened the first Starbucks in our town the other week and it's all anyone could talk about.

This time she puffed. "I get it. You're too cool for my breakfast."

I grimaced. I really didn't want to tell her that she's an awful cook and I really didn't have the desire to be in this house right now, especially after last night. I shifted my weight onto my other foot and diverted my eyes from her face. "Mom, I just told Alice I'd meet up with her, okay? She had a bad night last night."

"Honey, if you're avoiding me because of what happened the other day, that's…"

"No, Mom, seriously," I interrupted. I didn't feel like listening to one of her spiels. "That's whatever. I don't care."

She looked unconvinced and picked her fork up. She sighed and looked down at her plate. "Go on. Have a good day at school. I'll see you after."

I pursed my lips, feeling a pang of guilt sweep over me, but I pushed it to the side. I sent her a small smile. "I'll be home around four. Love you."

I turned and walked out of the house before she could say anything else. My dad's police cruiser was already gone—shocker. I threw the hood of my raincoat onto my head to protect myself from the downpour. I slammed the door of my truck after I jumped in and chucked my backpack into the passenger seat. I drove to school quickly, careful not to hit any puddles because I wasn't in the mood to hydroplane off the road and crash into a tree today.

Alice was standing next to her Beetle with her cheerleading uniform and a jacket on. She had two cups in her hand and look incredibly pissed off underneath her hood. I parked my car and grabbed my backpack before getting out and laughing at her.

"Why didn't you just wait in your car?"

She sneered and thrust a cup in my hand. "It just started pouring when I was already out here. And I'm loyal, Bella. I'm a loyal friend so I stayed out here and waited for you to get here."

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the hot coffee. "Shut up. You're just looking for sympathy and being dramatic."

We made our way into the school slowly, chatting about anything that came to mind and sipping our hot lattes. She was currently freaking out over the episode of _The Bachelor_ from last night and is giving me the rundown of every contestant.

I opened my locker as she leaned next to me. "So then Joanne shows up and _completely_ shits on the date. Stephanie is like screaming her head off at her and she won't leave. So Dustin just gets up and leaves. Can you believe that? Then next thing you know, Fiona is standing outside. It's like she was waiting out there the whole time they were on the date. A little creepy, right? I'm pretty sure they fucked but I don't think we'll ever know for sure."

I couldn't stop the eye roll that crossed my face. "Alice, you really need to find new interests."

"Um, forgive me for not being interested in National Geographic documentaries and _Jeopardy_. _The Bachelor_ is actually real life."

I slammed my locker door shut and stared her dead in the eyes. "I want you to think about what you just said and repeat it to yourself until you realize how stupid you actually sound."

Her bell-like giggle floated through the slowly-crowding hallway. "Okay, I'll give that one to you. Meet you in second period?"

I nodded absentmindedly and watched as she skipped off. I walked the rest of the way to first period quietly. That is, until my arm was yanked on by someone. I squeaked when I stumbled over my feet and turned to glare at whoever pulled me. I ripped my arm out of Rosalie's grip and gave her a dirty look. "What the hell, Rose?"

"Do you have a tampon?" she asked hurriedly.

I snorted and shook my head. "You could have asked me calmly," I said and dug around in my backpack. I found one quickly and handed it over to her. "So I take it you're not pregnant?"

She rolled her eyes. "No shit. I just went to the bathroom and almost cried happy tears. I couldn't imagine getting knocked up at seventeen, you know?"

A loud noise interrupted what I was about to say and Rose and I both looked down the hall. Emmett was crowding around Eric, laughing at something that was probably really dumb. Mike and Tyler, also known as Emmett's posse, were hanging behind him, laughing along. Eric was crouched down, picking up his books that were thrown all over the ground. Emmett said something else before laughing and walking away.

I grimaced at the scene as Rosalie shuddered next to me. "And to think it would have been us two raising a child."

That made me crack a smile. "I still can't believe you've been fuck buddies with Emmett behind our backs for six months."

She groaned and we started walking. "I know. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore. Maybe this pregnancy scare is God telling me to stop. I'll meet you in class. Save me a seat."

After Rose booked it to the bathroom, I made my way to first period, which happened to be Trigonometry. Rose and I were in the class together, so we usually sat together.

Today was a pretty typical day. It's getting closer to graduation and summer vacation and you could definitely feel that vibe around the school. It's the middle of May and finals are coming up pretty soon, so I've been taking a lot of time to prepare for those.

Forks High School is a typical high school. There are cliques and everything is a popularity contest. Luckily, I managed to bypass the bullying. I couldn't say the same for others, though.

The first three periods of the day went pretty fast. Before I knew it, it was fourth period and I was heading to study hall. Alice and I quickly found our usual seats next to each other on the far side of the room. Rose joined us next.

"Are you guys going to Newton's party tonight?" Rose asked while doodling in her notebook.

I glanced up from my AP US History book and shrugged. Alice clicked her tongue and jabbed me in the side with her elbow. "Um, yes. _We're_ going. Everyone who's everyone is going to be there. It'd be social suicide not to."

"I heard Jasper is going," I grinned and waited for her reaction.

I saw the excitement dance across her face, but she hid it carefully. "I mean…he goes to all the parties. Why wouldn't he go to this one?"

"Are you ladies talking about Mike's tonight?" Emmett boomed as he grabbed the desk next to Rose. She rolled her eyes as he attempted to put his arms around her chair but thought better of it. I smirked when I saw a little smile threatening to break out on her face. "I'm bringing the kegs. You guys better be there."

"Last time I went to one of those parties I blacked out and woke up with half an eyebrow shaved off," I protested.

Emmett's laughter boomed across the room. "Bells, you're always a riot at the parties."

"It's the last party before finals, Bella, you have to go," Alice whined.

"We'll see, okay?" I muttered and dug my face back into my textbook.

I continued to read over the material while Emmett, Rose, and Alice all talked about the party tonight. I got lost in the chapter on the Cuban Missile Crisis until I heard the most amazing sound.

I glanced up and watched as Edward Cullen made his way over to our little group, which now suddenly included Jasper. I didn't even notice him come over. Anyway, Edward walked over to us and sat down at a desk across from me while laughing at something Emmett said. His green eyes shone as he shook his head at his friend. He must have noticed me staring at him, because he shifted his eyes until they were locked with mine. He gave me his trademark crooked smile and my heart stopped.

"Right, Bella?"

I snapped out of my daze and shook my head. I turned to look at Rose, who was watching me with a sly grin. "What?"

Her smirk only grew. "Edward was talking about how excited he is about the party and I was just telling him how you said you weren't going."

I blanched. "Uh," I stuttered and looked at my book before looking up at Edward. The look on his face intimidated me so I quickly looked back at Rose. "I don't know. Maybe I can make it."

Alice giggled. "Wow, fancy how that all worked out, huh?"

I could slowly feel my face get redder by the minute as I kicked her shin under the table. She jumped and gave me a dirty look.

"Jasper, are you going to be there?" Edward asked, quickly diverting the attention away from me.

Jasper nodded slowly while drumming his fingers along the desk. "I gotta. Business calls."

"It is _so_ sad that you refer to your drug deals as a business," Rose chimed in.

"Say that shit again and you won't get any."

That shut her up.

"Don't you have a game tonight, Cullen?" Emmett asked.

Edward shrugged. "It's a four o'clock game so it'll be done in time."

I turned my head away from the conversation when I heard a strange noise coming from the hallway. I couldn't really comprehend exactly what it was. It kind of sounded like someone throwing rocks. I noticed a couple more people in the room glanced up at the door, but didn't say anything. I turned back to my friends and listened to them complain and talk about the party some more.

"Is Lauren going to bring her bitch cousin again? I swear she's the one who puked on my shoes last year," Rose grumbled.

"I thought that was Jessica?" Alice questioned.

"Nah, Jess was too busy blowing Tyler in the shed," Emmett chortled.

"The whole night?" Edward snorted.

"Knowing Tyler, it had to have only lasted three minutes' tops," Jasper chuckled.

Rosalie _tsk_ ed and shook her head.

I snapped my head back to the door when I heard a banging, like someone was running towards the room. There was a loud scream from down the hall just as the door slammed open. Mr. Jenks was out of his seat before the door even opened. The person who ran into the room shut the door behind him and fell forward. Mr. Jenks was holding onto him to hold him up.

"Get on the ground! Get down!" the person yelled, who turned out to be Seth Clearwater. He waved his bloody hand towards us. "Everyone get under your desks!"

"Seth! What's happening?" Leah, his older sister who happened to be in study hall with me, shouted. She stood up and walked towards him. Immediately, he pushed her back until she collided with a desk. "What the hell!"

"Shh," he hissed and winced. He put a hand over a wound on his leg and glanced towards the door. "Some guy is out there shooting people."

I felt my heart leap into my throat. My hands went numb and I suddenly felt nauseous. Alice gasped sharply next to me and put a hand over her mouth.

"Seth, get back," Mr. Jenks ordered. He walked cautiously towards the door. He put his back against the door and looked out. "I want you all to get as far back in the classroom as possible," he demanded. His hand reached over and turned the light switch off.

I could hear my heart beat in my ears as I stood up from my seat. Rosalie grabbed my hand and pulled me and Alice back with her. I stumbled and tripped my way over, the rest of the class following suit. I felt Edward walking closely behind me. I didn't feel like I was actually moving—Alice had to push me along. Thankfully, we made it to the back corner of the room. Rosalie pulled me and Alice down to the ground and Edward crouched in front of me. His eyes had a wild look to them.

Suddenly, the pounding in my ears stopped and I could hear everything.

"What's going on?"

"Who's shooting?!"

"Did anyone else get hurt?"

"Everyone quiet!" Mr. Jenks hissed. He was still standing by the door.

Alice squeaked and cowered against the corner. I glanced to my right and noticed Emmett was standing over Rose in some kind of protective manner. I would have found it adorable if I wasn't currently in this situation. I looked back up and looked into Edward's eyes. Everything we wanted to say was written out right there.

That strange rock throwing sound was back and it took me a moment to process that it was actually a gun, not rocks. I clenched my eyes shut every time I heard the gun go off. My entire body shook as the sound got closer and closer. I jumped when someone banged on the door. I reached forward, searching for something—anything—to hold onto. It was Edward's hand that I found first.

The door flew open and before I could even figure out what was going on, Mr. Jenks fell to the ground after a loud shot rang through the room. I screamed loudly and watched as one of my favorite teachers collapse into a pool of his own blood.

"Oh fuck," Emmett yelled. That got the shooter's attention.

I stared at Eric Yorkie, trembling. He was standing in the front of the room with a shot gun on his chest and a rifle around his shoulder. He was wearing a dark trench coat and black gloves. His face had a calm mask on it—it was unnerving. He looked emotionless…like he wasn't going around the school shooting classmates.

He said nothing as he stepped over Mr. Jenks's motionless body and approached our fifteen-person study hall in the back of the room. Alice was full on crying at this point. Edward shifted back farther until he was nearly on top of me.

"Eric…man…" Jasper stuttered and shook his head. "What are you doing?"

Eric moved his eyes until they were looking at Jasper. "You jocks and you popular kids think you can rule the school just because you know how to throw a ball. Well, it's bullshit. You don't own this place and you deserve nothing."

"Okay. Maybe we deserve nothing. But we don't deserve to be shot."

"Stop talking," he yelled through clenched teeth. He held the sawed off shotgun up to Jasper's body. Alice screamed and covered her face with her hands. I continued to shake.

"Eric, stop," Emmett bellowed. He stood up and placed himself in front of Jasper. "Think about what you're doing."

He was silent for a moment. "I am," he finally said in a monotone voice and he pulled the trigger.

The room erupted into screams and cries as Emmett's body fell to the ground. Blood circled around his body from the bullet wound in his chest. Rosalie sobbed and crawled over to his body, pressing her hand down on his wound. Eric raised the gun and pointed it at her head. She bawled and lowered herself until she was lying over Emmett. Edward immediately stood up and rushed towards Eric. He tried to tackle him, but Eric was quick to hit him across the head with the butt of his rifle.

I latched onto Alice's hand as Eric made a beeline to me. I cowered against the wall and trembled violently as he approached us, like a predator hunting his prey. He towered over me, staring into my eyes as he pointed the gun at my body. Alice was sobbing next to me.

I heard police sirens swarm around the school.

"Why did you join them, Bella?" he asked softly. For a moment, I almost saw my old friend in there. I felt a warm wetness run down my leg. I would have been embarrassed for pissing myself, but I honestly didn't care right now. "Why did you leave us for them?"

"E-Eric…I…" I couldn't even get a proper sentence out. My entire body was shaking violently.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry," he muttered quietly and squeezed his eyes shut before he pulled the trigger.

I didn't feel much pain before I felt nothing at all.

* * *

I opened my eyes when a shooting pain zipped across the side of my neck. The light hurt my eyes for a minute, but it didn't last long. It only took a couple seconds to realize I wasn't in my own bed. My heart rate sped up, and I heard a beeping in the room increase at the same time. The door opened and a woman in light pink scrubs walked in.

"Miss Swan, I want you to relax, okay?" she urged quietly as she approached me. I stared up at her. "Can you tell me if anything hurts?"

I nodded, wincing when the pain came back on my neck. I raised a hand to touch it but was only met with a cloth bandage.

The nurse looked sympathetic. "I can't give you any more pain medication for a couple hours. Your mother just left. I'm going to go call her, all right?"

I nodded, once again wordlessly, and watched as the nurse hurried out of the room. She must have told others that I was awake, because soon after a doctor came in to take my vitals.

"Can you rate your pain for me, Miss Swan?" he murmured as he wrote down something onto a clipboard.

"My neck…" I groaned. "It hurts really bad."

The doctor gave me a half-smile. "Do you remember what happened, Isabella?"

I felt my face quiver before I could even process his question. I clenched my eyes shut as I visualized the gun in my head. "I was shot?"

The doctor sighed. "You're very lucky, Miss Swan. A classmate was able to put pressure on your wounds so you didn't bleed out. You were shot once in your neck—luckily it managed to only graze your carotid. You were also shot in your hip, but we weren't as worried about that."

My eyebrows furrowed with this new knowledge. "Who saved me?"

He pursed his lips. "I'm uncertain of the name. I'm going to head out. Your family should be here shortly, okay?"

I nodded absentmindedly, my head still swimming with this new information. Not long after the doctor left, my mother came barging into my room. She took one look at me on my bed and burst into tears. She catapulted herself to my side and knelt down until she was eyelevel with me. I felt myself tear up just watching her fall apart.

"Mommy," I whimpered.

She sobbed into my hand. "Oh baby, I was so scared. I'm so happy you're awake."

This was new. We weren't normally this emotional, but I couldn't find it in me to care right now.

"How long has it been since it happened?" I asked.

She sniffled and shook her head. "It's been two days, honey."

Wow. "Mom, tell me."

She looked pained. "Honey...I…"

I cut her off. "Please."

She took a moment, but complied. "Ten people, plus the shooter. Too many injuries. I don't…"

I swallowed, trying to mask my emotions. "Who?"

She took a moment. "That sweet boy Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Leah Clearwater, your teacher, Mr. Jenks…" she trailed off and looked conflicted. After a moment, she sighed. "Honey…your friend Emmett didn't make it."

The breath rushed out of me all at once and I heard a strange choking sound travel through the room. It felt like someone took my heart out and crushed it into a million pieces. My vision blurred with tears. "Emmett died?" I sobbed.

Mom cried with me. Her blue eyes seemed to get brighter with the water. "I'm so sorry, baby. He was shot in the chest and he didn't make it."

I felt the pain in my neck increase and I fought the urge to cry out. "Alice? Rose?"

She sniffed and held onto my hand while rubbing the back of it soothingly. "The police told me your classroom got the worst of it. Alice only got minor injuries, but she's still here recovering. Poor Rose is okay physically. Edward had a concussion and he's home now. Your friend Jasper was the one who knocked that…that… _Eric_ boy down," she spat out his name and shook her head. "He was injured in the struggle, but he's okay. He saved your life, Bella," she whispered the last part.

It was all too much. All my friends. They were all affected someway. And Emmett…

I squeezed my head shut, trying to rid myself of the dull pain building in the back of my head.

Mom patted my arm softly. "Close your eyes and rest, sweetie. I'll be by your side the whole time," she whispered.

I didn't have to be told twice. I closed my eyes as a tear slid out and let my mind shut off.

* * *

I was in the hospital for a week after I woke up.

It was annoying.

I had endless visitors. Alice came and visited me every day. She split her time between my room and Jasper's room. Speaking of Jasper, when I started walking again, I went into his room to talk with him. I cried as I saw his leg wrapped up in a strange cast knowing it was because of me he was in here.

He didn't like when I said that out loud.

"Are you kidding me, Bella? You're not the reason I'm in here. You're not the one who came into our school with a gun and the goal to kill your classmates."

Eric.

I laid awake every night trying to figure out what was going through his mind. What made him tick.

I felt anger. Anger towards Eric and myself and Emmett and his crew.

But I also felt grief. I felt confusion. I felt sorrow.

Eric was one of my friends once upon a time. We entered high school and went our separate ways. I found my own collection of friends with Alice and Rose and Eric isolated himself from the rest of the student body.

I'm not innocent in this.

I turned a blind eye when I watched Emmett and Mike and Tyler endlessly torment Eric for simply existing in school. I didn't step in and put an end to it. _I'm_ part of the reason this happened.

Two days after I was released from the hospital, the stream of funerals began.

My mom held my hand as I stepped out of the car and walked up the pathway towards the only Catholic church in the city of Forks. Rain was falling softly on my black hat as we entered the large doors surrounded by intricate stained glass. My dad held onto my arm from the other side as we walked into the church and I took in my surroundings. I made sure not to move my neck to save myself from loads of pain.

After already going to eight others, I knew this funeral would be the hardest for me for multiple reasons.

I walked down the aisle slowly, wincing a bit every time I put pressure on my left hip. My dad held me steady as I shuffled to the front of the church and stood behind Alice. She was standing over the open coffin with trembling shoulders. I inched closer and put a hand on her arm that was resting on the smooth mahogany.

She turned to see who was touching her and her red-rimmed, bright blue eyes caught mine. Her lips shuddered and she whipped around to wrap her arms around me. We stood together for a moment just embracing each other as we fell apart in each other's arms.

I felt someone rest a hand on my shoulder. I peered around to see Jasper and Edward standing behind us.

It was the first time I've seen Edward since the shooting and a new round of tears forced themselves out of my eyes. I released Alice as she went to stand next to Jasper and I threw myself in Edward's open arms.

I've had a huge crush on this boy since I first laid eyes on him in middle school. His parents moved here from Seattle when his father was offered a fancy position in the local hospital. He immediately entered Emmett and Jasper's clique and when Rose and Alice took me under their wing freshman year, I was around Edward a lot more.

I've always been too chicken to do anything about my crush, despite Alice and Rose claiming he'd return my feelings. I've spent years fantasizing about him holding me in his arms. Now that he's finally doing it, I didn't feel the giddiness like I expected. I just felt comfort.

"How are you doing?" he murmured against my hair.

I squeezed him weakly once more and let go. He steadied me with his hands on my waist. "I'm okay," I whispered, not really sure if that was the truth or not.

I took the chance to turn and look at the coffin and I felt the tears build in my eyes again.

Emmett looked so fake laying there. The funeral home really had put a lot of make up on his face. I found it unnecessary considering his face wasn't even wounded. He laid flat inside the white, satin-lined coffin with his hands crossed over his stomach. It looked so proper and posed. I felt sick.

I rested my shaking hand on the edge of the coffin and took a deep breath. I shook my head at the lifeless body beneath me. "I miss you, idiot."

Alice squeezed my hand and jerked her head towards the pews. I saw Rose sitting with her legs crossed next to Vera, her mother. She had a hollow look in her eyes as she stared towards the front of the church.

She must have just gotten released from the psychiatric wing of the hospital.

Alice walked with me over to her and sat us down to her left. She turned her head ever so slowly towards us. Her lips pulled up into a barely-smile in acknowledgment. Alice, who was seated in the middle, grabbed her hand and set it next to mine on her thigh. Rose didn't say anything, but she moved her head back so she was looking straight again.

The funeral was a solemn event. The priest spoke kind words about the boy who was painted as the cause of all of this. The church was packed with mourners. Emmett was very popular in the town of Forks. It's because of him that our football program is even known state-wide. Edward and Jasper sat in the pew behind us with their parents and mine.

After the service, my dad announced he had to return to work. Edward said he'd fit us all into his car so we could go to our spot.

It was silent on the way to the beach with only the soft tunes coming from the radio in the background. After twenty minutes, Edward parked along the road and opened the passenger door for me as we all got out. He held me steady as we navigated our way onto our rock that overlooked the Pacific.

We come here at least once a week to chill and talk Forks High gossip and drink and smoke whatever Jasper has with him that day.

But this time we just sat and looked over the ocean.

Alice was the first to break the silence.

"Did we do this?" she whispered, so softly that I almost didn't hear.

No one responded for a while. We just listened to seagulls and waves crashing violently on the shore.

I shivered and pulled my leather jacket tighter around my body. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I moved closer to his warm body.

Rose released a sob and covered her mouth with her hand. She stared straight towards the ocean as her hazel eyes filled with tears. Jasper lowered his head and played with the lighter in his hand.

There's really not much you can say at a time like this. We all knew, deep down, we were complicit in an environment in school that led to this happening. I may have not picked up a gun and brought it to class with an intent to cause harm, but I did ignore any sort of harm being caused inside the school leading up to it.

"I refuse to feel guilt for what that freak did," Jasper murmured angrily. I looked at him, kind of shocked to hear such hate coming from his usually-calm façade. He frowned and shook his head. "He made the decision to come in and shoot _innocent_ people. I can't sit here and feel sorry for him. He killed my best friend in cold blood in front of us. He doesn't deserve my sympathy."

I wanted to agree with him, but a voice deep in my mind kept reminding me I played a role in it.

"Where do we go from here?" Edward questioned quietly.

"We have to do better," I whispered quietly.

No one replied to what I said, but I knew everyone heard me. They knew I was right.

Rose scoffed dryly after a long period of silence and wiped her face with the sleeve of her black knit cardigan. "I can't wait to get out of this fucking town."

I could agree with that. In August, the six of us—or five of us, I guess—are going to start school in Seattle. Choosing to move to Seattle was simple for me. It got me far enough away from the failing marriage of my parents, but close enough in case something happened and I needed to get back home. Everyone else had their own reasons for choosing U-Dub over other colleges, and all eventually decided to go to the same place.

I put my hand on Rose's shoulder. She turned slowly and rested her cheek against it.

It was just last week that I found out her and Emmett were even a thing. She joked about it at the time, but she clearly felt something for him. Something more than friendship like the rest of us. And she leaned over him as he died.

We were all traumatized that day in different ways, and ultimately, in the same way. We witnessed our friends and teachers get shot by a boy we all in some indirect or direct way tormented. We still feel the emotional, and even physical, pain of that day. I still feel the bullet wounds pulsating in my neck and hip, something I'm not sure I'll ever get over. We all have scars. We'll look in the mirror and see our hollow eyes and scar tissue lining our bodies.

The memories will always be in our minds when we close our eyes to go to sleep.

It won't be easy, but the five of us may just grow stronger together because of it.

Alice wrapped her arms around me and Rose while Jasper put his arm over her and Edward kept me tucked in his embrace. We were careful not to hit each other's wounds. Soon enough, the five of us were all one connected unit.

We sat on our rock and watched as the sun sank lower and lower into the horizon. And for some strange reason, I felt at ease as I watched the sun begin to disappear.

If the sun can vanish and start fresh the next day, why can't we?

* * *

Thank you for reading. Any thoughts, please feel free to share.


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